Q::::::::::::: 100 ::::::::::::: :: ::""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" THIS PROGRAM JUST MIGHT BE WHERE"" "" THE NATIAL IRER S IT'S ""B "" HEADLINES!! YOU NEVER KNOW!! "" "" "" """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""". *** NEWS OF THE WEEK *** * * * BY ACME HEURISTIC * * APPLICATIONS! (AHA!) *0  * JUNE 1986 *O  * *n  * UPDATED/ALTERED BY: *  * (ADD YOUR NAME HERE) *  * *  * NICK SULLIVAN *  * CHRIS ZAMARA *  * MARYA MILLER *(  * ADAM HERST *G  * TIM GRANTHAM *f  * JIM GREEN & JAGGY TU *  * (TITLE, PRINT ONE *  * PAGE INSTEAD OF *  * SCROLLING & WIERD *  * SOUND) * a * * b **** PASS ME AROUND ****& c:K d SEX-CRAZED,DISEASED,TWO-HEADEDn e SEX-STARVED,ALIEN,TELEPATHIC f DYING,TWO-YEAR-OLD,NEWBORN g DEAD,GAY,PSYCHOTIC,HEADLESS h IMPOTENT,EX-CIA,WEALTHY,SLEAZY i CRIPPLED,BISEXUAL,MYSTERIOUS j LOVESTRUCK,DOPE-SMOKING,DRUNK' XXX- :P COLLEGE PROFESSOR,VEGETARIANr SATANIST,PSYCHIC,KILLER,COW PERVERT,PROSTITUTE,BIKER SADIST,SPIRITUALIST,CON ARTIST MUGGER,TYCOON,BABY,PERVERT,MINISTER SEEING-EYE DOG,MUTANT,ZOMBIE * XXX+:0, RAPES,DISEMBOWELS,WEDSS- RIPS OFF,BEATS UP,RESURRECTSx. VOMITS ON,GIVES BIRTH TO,SELLS/ REMOVES TUMOR FROM,KIDNAPS0 VAPORIZES,DISMEMBERS,EATS,BOILS BRAINS OF XXX: THOUSANDS,MOVIE STAR SICK CHILD,ROCK MUSICIAN5 TEENAGE CANNIBAL,OWN MOTHERU TOWN COUNCIL,DYNASTY STARy SKID-ROW BUM,ILLEGITIMATE SON WEIRD REPTILE-GIRL,PREGNANT HOUSEWIFE BLIND BRAIN SURGEON,90-YEAR-OLD STRIP QUEEN XXX: WHILE FAMILY LOOKS ON -- POLICE HELPLESS8 -- SCIENTISTS BAFFLEDW DURING MOONLIGHT JOYRIDEx BEFORE HORRIFIED WITNESSES -- THEN TAKES OWN LIFE IN VIDEO GAME SCANDAL -- BLAMES PORNO RING -- CLAIMS TO BE JESUS  WHILE ON EXTRATERRESTRIAL DRUG- -- THEN HOMETOWN VANISHESN DURING FREAK METEOR SHOWERg IN WORLD PEACE BID -- CLAIMS ORDERS FROM GOD -- LAWSUIT THREATENED IN COMMUNE ORGY NIGHTMARE -- INSPIRED BY TV MOVIE  IN INTERGALACTIC WHITE SLAVE SCAM% IN BIZARRE LOVE QUEST/V XXX5W:LXS$(32): A(TI)eb 1000: A$(I): AI~l 1000: B$(I): BIv 1000: C$(I): CI 1000: D$(I): DI 1000: E$(I): EI I0 A: A$(I): I: I$ I0 B: B$(I): I: I$5 I0 C: C$(I): I: I$W I0 D: D$(I): I: I$s I0 E: E$(I): Iy:53280, 5:53281,15 (147)(8)(142);1300NUNU1: 1100"MORE Y/N ";  I$I$"N""- NO!,NO!, NO MORE!!!":1480:DU12000:M I$"Y" "- YES, MORE, MORE!!":1410uI$"Y"NU3DU1500::NU0:1300I$"Y"760  I$"N"780*1340/ " NO? - DON'T HAVE THE STOMACH FOR IT, EH?214804DU16000:: (9);(142)>:L DETERMINE REQUIRED DIMENSION FOR ARRAYUI1{ A$: A$"XXX" II1: 10108:B CONSTRUCT A HEADLINEL: T$S$VU$A$((1)A1): 1200`U$B$((1)B1): 1200jU$C$((1)C1): 1200tU$D$((1)D1): 12000~T$"!"(13)LU$E$((1)E1): 1200RX: PRINT THE STRING U$ WITH WORD WRAPV1: V$""I$(U$,V,1): V$V$I$: I$S$ V(U$) VV1: 1210  (0)(V$)38 : USE 78 FOR 80 COLS, 20 FOR 22 COLS V$;< V(U$) VV1: V$"": 1210F T$;LR:"";" NATIONAL ";(" м       ";*"         ";J,"        HEADLINES ";|2"";<T623: 781,T:59903:: : ERASES LINES 6TO23 .x ** WIERD ENQUIRER SOUNDS54272T132:Z(162)199S24,15:S6,90:S4,216S1,Z:S15,(99Z):MJSS23:J,0::] ** RAZZYS54272:S24,15:S23,0:S6,240:S1,4:S5,0:S4,33Z13245128:S1,Z256:S,Z255::S4,0: